Oh How Romantic Do I Feel...

I would hold you in my arms.
Hold you so tightly.
Feel the very breathe that you take.
Feel the very whisper of your lips.
Squeeze you tight so that I could feel you exhaling.
Feeling your heat warming my body.
Feel your heart beat faster and faster.
I would hear you taking deep, long breathes.
I would stare in your eyes.
Stare deep into your pools of reflection.
I would get forever lost in your eyes.
Those eyes that mirrors your soul.
I would watch you staring at me.
Those brown almond eyes.
I would sweep my lips on yours.
I would part your lips slowly with mine.
I would breathe in the breath that you take.
I would stay my sweeps longer and longer.
I would touch my lips slowly on yours.
I would slowly, sweetly kiss you.
I would lay my kisses in seconds, minutes.
I would press my lips on yours, ever so softly.

*sigh*.... That was what I had thought to do. When she left.


Well, here I am again.

It has been so long since I did this. I had thought I would be able to keep at it, but apparently, I was stuck in reality.

What I meant by stuck in reality is really just that I don't have the time or the patience to even begin typing. Now, that I finally be able to have time on to do this, I have to be diligent in at least trying to start.

How long has it been? A very long time I suppose. I had a good few years. The ups, the downs. Just like many others here. There's no reason to complain. Or is there? Well, I'm sure, most of the readers out there are complaining either on the smallest of mistakes or the most obnoxious of people. In any case, it's still complaints nonetheless.

Maybe I could start on how cool the iPhone 3G works. Just to get hits on my tiny area. Maybe I could complain about how the iPhone is NOT selling here in my country. Can't say it's NOT not selling though, because the gray market here is rampant with deals about the iPhone.

I still remember when the iPhone was announced last year in January. How the it has to go through authorization first before any sales were made. The world had literally stopped in it's tracks when Steve Job hails the device/gadget/most-wanted-item of the year/decade/century.

Then, June came. The iPhone was the absolute must have cell/mobile/pda/phone, if not for real, I'm sure most if not all were dreaming of having one. Then, it finally comes, the complaints. How expensive it was, why is it only hooked to ONE provider, what good is it for, when is there going to be a hack, where is the nearest dustbin so I could throw away my old phone.

Back then, I was a salesperson working at an Apple reseller here. The inquiries about the darn thing was ridiculous. Phones were off the hook, every single person that dropped by the shop just had to ask when is the iPhone coming to our shores. Don't even get me started on how far they are willing to go to get it.

Then, oh boy, then came the show off-y little whiners that could not get their iPhones working with their GSM cards. Quite literally, there was a line, and also quite literally, there was begging and even *gasp* bribery! These guys just wont quit. They just must have these little diamonds to work properly in order for them to be THE coolest bloke around town.

Of course, homebrew came along. It wasn't easy at first. Hours upon hours of tinkering and only finally, to be able to use a certain type of SIM card to flash the little gadget. But, as the days/weeks/months go by. The magic of homebrew brings us the ability to mind wipe the blasted thing in just about 2 minutes. Maybe less.

The magic of homebrew did not stop there. It has brought along many, many other useful functions. The ability to load and play games for instance. Not just any games, it's those games that were a big hit way back in the 80s. Just imagine, whipping out the iPhone to not only send a message, but to relive the old times that we had when we were little tykes. My hats off to you: the AMAZING people that has spend their precious time and money to bring us these AMAZING functionality.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't being sarcastic. Bloody hell no. All that praise is for real. I really meant it.

But, as for any other fairy tale. It has come to an end. Well, maybe not. It's still a long ways to go for the little iPhone that could. I'm sure of it. Even if it is just a 3G upgrade.

I mean, my GOD! 3G! 15 secs of loading time! DAMN! That's bloody well faster than my Edgar... I mean EDGE. Okay, that was a tiny bit of sarcasm. I do admit though, it's pretty, how you say, bland. Now, before any of you iPhone/Mac/Apple/Unix Fanatics/Fanboys/Lovers/Shareholders/Users/Students/Workers/CEOs wants to do a rebuttal. Go to www.icanhascheezburger.com for a laugh or two, cool down. Chillax. Guys, brothers, sisters, I am a Phone/Mac/Apple/Unix Fanatics/Fanboys/Lovers/Shareholders/Users/Students/Workers/CEOs too! I bloody well worked in a bloody Apple reseller store!

The iPhone rocks! Yes! But, that was 2007. The good people of the world wants one that creates holographic images of Anne Hathaway. We want, or rather, I want an iPhone that could handle a Bluetooth connection, not just the ability to talk wirelessly. Come on man, Apple has made the Macbook Air! A fully functional sub (dimensional) Macbook that handles connections wirelessly! It does not have a bloody CD/DVD ROM/READER/PLAYER. It takes installations wirelessly through another Macbook/Macbook Pro/iMac/Mac Mini or even a Windows (Gah!! ACK!!) PC! I'd throw in a Mac Pro/Apple TV but they don't come with the wireless connections required as standard.

Just imagine man, the possibilities! Going out of the house, forgetting to download that homebrew updates, and then whipping out the iPhone, ZIP: Switch on connection channel, ADEE: Connect wirelessly to home pc, DOO: Upload the update, DAA: Install. All we have to do is sing "ZIPADEEDOODAA" for a few seconds and we're done!

Not only that, it would be fantastic if the iPhone would at least have the ability to do videocalls. People around the world are using iChat on their Mac computers to do video conferencing, why is it not available on the iPhone? Probably Apple would want to squeeze every penny from us, the consumers. Or possibly, Apple have better understanding on the market than we, ourselves do. Which is weird.

But, who am I to say such things? I am very sure that Steve Jobs have a great idea of what we want for ourselves. Either that, Apple has to make sure that their shareholders are happy.


A Bunch Of Stuff

Look at that picture. That's a good picture of me isn't it? Well, call me what you want but I still like it. Even though I have gained weight, I still look good. Heh.

Last Thursday, I fell asleep on my desk while drawing. I woke up at 0400hrs and had an immense ache on my spine. Seems that I must've slept too long. Either that, or I didn't stretch well enough. The backache lasted not too long, but long enough nonetheless. It made my trip to the washroom rather uncomfortable.

After a few sharp snaps later, my backache subsides. Although, the sharpness of pain still lingers whenever I turn my body, I still manage to relax afterwards. Waking up this early in the morning would do absolute destruction on my body clock. I can feel it's confused for being up and about. Nevertheless, I tried to watch the idiot box to kill time.

In about 5 minutes, boredom sets in. I cannot sit still, so I started to play around with the cats. I was wide awake and the cats were fast asleep. They played with me for a few minutes only to fall asleep again in two seconds. Being bored and unable to play. I decided to go back to my room and read a book.

I picked up a book titled Wheel of Time and started to read. It got my attention alright but my body just can't sit still. I kept tossing and turning. Sitting and lying. I even tried reading standing up. God! It sure is annoying knowing you have to put down a good book just because you can't get a good position. I put down the book and noted that I will continue reading it later. I got up from bed, combed my frazzled hair, took the car keys and off I went to God knows where.

I drove over to Bangsar. I have no idea why I wanted to go there. My instincts just brought me there. Ended up at a playground nearby Bangsar Shopping Centre. It's was already 0500hrs and I thought that I'm wasting my time going there. Not even close to 10 minutes I was already on my way home. I giggled and laughed on how idiotic my actions were. It really was rather stupid to go around town, wasting precious gas just to pass time. Well, at least I manage to kill time.

The minute I got home, I started to yawn. God! Not now! I'd thought that the nap I had was enough to last me the whole day. I tried to stay up as long as I could. But, I could not last past 0700hrs. Again, I fell asleep on the desk, writing a note on how to pick up chicks.

I woke up with a start. Luckily with no backaches. I saw what I wrote and immediately found faults. I mean, how could a guy get a girl if he tries too much? Sure, just being yourself works but how would you make her feel comfortable with you. Total strangers getting together at such a surprising moment would make matters rather awkward. Believe me, I've tried. One thing I've notice is that eye contact must be on the eyes, not anywhere near her bosom.

Confidence is another matter. If a guy exudes confidence, then no matter how he screws up, he won't lose much. Because, as far as I understand. Women, in general, feeds of confidences like leeches feeds on blood. The more confident you are, the more interested the women is. Although, this "confidant" material can be a double edge sword. Women would expect more out of you. Such as jumping off a cliff naked just to prove your love to her. Of course, in that option it was only a joke. But, jokes aside, women do want men to protect and to serve. Much like the police that we have here. (That was satire if you didn't notice. Ed.)

Just how in God's name do you protect and serve? Well, I may be experienced in this matter but what I may say or do might be the total opposite of what she wants. Every women is different and there's absolutely no way comparing them. Even if they want to be compared, don't! You can imagine in your dreams all you want, but do not ever let her know. Well, again, I digress. Anyway, in protecting her, you should be able to at least foot the bill. Monetary problems can be a pain but if she views you as someone that can take care of her. Just don't show her your bank slip.

In another view, being all muscle and no brain can be an issue. Being all knowing and no brawn is an absolute bore. Mix and match a little. It doesn't hurt to actually better your image. Well, in men, we all should know that we're lazy and women should choose us because of who we are. True, women want truth and the ability to understand how their men work and breathe. But, on the other hand, it is absolutely boring. I mean, what can you do if you are married to the same person for years? Would there be any other means to spark the fire? (Light a match! Ed.)

Again, I seem to steer away. All in all, we should at least start a little something. Well, anything for that matter. I've seen men going to parks and libraries to score a date. An alternative that should've been done a long time ago. Clubs and discos are still a crowd favorite. Just watch your back and play it safe, nobody wants to end up with someone they don't want to end up with. Places like food courts, restaurants, shopping malls are rather, how you say it? Open. It's too risky to just walk up to some girl and introduce yourself. Besides, most of the time, they're with someone else.

I would like to elaborate more on the eye contact. Because, you have to look at places she wouldn't even dream you would look. Like her ears for instance. That would catch her off guard and you'll have the upper hand. Until she starts to complement your observation method, you would have a tiny sliver of a chance more than you just started. Just don't start saying thing like how crooked her teeth are or how large her nostrils flares. Complementing eyes can be rather cliché but, it sure as Hell works. There are numerous ways to complement her eyes. How bright it is, the shape, color. Just don't go ballistic on the subject.

Subtlety. Dear God! I can't emphasize enough on this subject! We men always prefer the blunt approach like quick hand signals and loud grunts. Hell, we even applaud on other men getting kicked in the groin! Unlike women. There are always riddles with women. The way they talk, walk, sway, signals. You'd think they're from another planet. Well, I have to say one thing. They're not. Women uses what men takes for granted. The art of human conversation.

How could anyone interpret that? Well, be friends with another woman and she'll tell you. Provided that she's willing to. All in all, we shouldn't try so hard. No one is perfect, and so there would be a kink somewhere in this women's armor. Problem is, where is that kink? Hell, if I know! (It's right above the belt of chastity! Ed.)

Okay, I guess I've given off my 2 cents worth. I'm not done as far as scoring a chick is concerned but I don't think anyone would read up this far. If, and only if, my views sounds interesting. Please do contact me or reply a message. The more I get, the more I could write up. It takes motivation to rounds things out. Especially when one needs to find advice.

Azarul Carlyle Einhander


What's Wrong?

Recently, I'm going through quite a predicament. Not so much that it involves everybody else. It's just...

For the past few weeks I've been feeling like this. I don't know what is wrong. I haven't had a good nights' sleep since then. It's always a nap for about 1 to 4 hours. Maybe I should go see a doctor. Or I could just relax. It's not that I'm going through such a disaster that I need to pick up what's left. Basically, I don't think I have a problem at work. True I haven't been able to do as much sales as I did before. But, I can't blame myself for it. It's mostly because the company does not stock up on it's merchandise and, of course, the late shipment Apple's been giving us lately.

Not that I blame them. In fact, I congratulate Apple for having the balls in making better machines now. No, I don't think Apple is to blame. Should stop playing the blaming game for now, or else I would never stop. In any case, I should concentrate more on what in God's name is worrying me.

Is it money? Well, everyone needs more money. More money equals more greed. All in all, it still is great to have more than what you need. Unless I'm wasting precious materials, I still think it's great to have more money. Seriously, I don't think money is such a problem. I thank God that I have a job. At least, that's how I could pay the bills every now and then. The problem is my money is that I don't have enough. I want a brand new car, I also want a brand new computer so I could play that Elder Scrolls game. I also want to rent an apartment, so I could at least run away from my responsibilities for a few weeks. But, how am I to do all those things, much less in buying any of those things if I don't have enough.

Well, in careful planning, I'm sure I could whip up something. I'm not getting paid by the thousand, but enough nonetheless. It does take a lot of planning. In which, I'm losing out MYR3000 for a brand new computer. I sure hope that I could spare that much. Because, no matter how careful someone plans for something. I'm sure there would be something else that needs that amount of money. Good Lord, I sure hope nothing like that happens.

About that apartment. I actually found one. It's right with my brother's place in Flora Damansara. The price for it isn't at all bad. Pretty cheap I might add. It would be great to have a place for gaming. Just hook up a rig and off I go into the gaming world. It would also be a great place to hang out with friends. Well, considering that it takes more than just a few hundred ringgit to hype up the place. It didn't take me long to just forget about it. I mean, I should just use that money to take care of my family.

Maybe the cause of this lack of sleep, or anxiety, is that I may have taken too much raw meat. My hunger has grown way beyond my control. I can't seem to shake this sudden need for meat anymore. I have to stock up on meat just in case I wake up in the middle of the night needing it. I could have sworn that I got high everytime I taste the meat. I cannot begin to describe how it feels but it sure is satisfying.

Maybe I just need a nightlife. I don't have much of a nightlife anymore. What with working 12 hour shifts. I usually get very tired after that. But, no matter how tired I get, I still can't get enough sleep. Luckily, I get a day off after my shift so I could at least rest. Albeit, I still find it very hard to fall asleep. Maybe I need some sort of a relaxing pill? Or something to make me feel absolutely tired? God knows.

Maybe I should get involve with hobbies or something like it. At home I like to draw, basically comics and little caricatures that makes me happy. Depending on my mood, most of the time it's about rage and anger. I don't know. Even if I did try to do something funny, it ends up being about hate. Well, I do believe I have some anger issues

God, sometimes I wish I could just walk in a moonlit night. Just enjoy the night breeze. I can't do that nowadays, there's too many people, too many cars, too many noise. I use to walk for hours, sometimes ending up in places I don't even know. Sometimes, it would rain. Sometimes, it would rain. Hard! But, whenever it does, I welcome it all. It's this ancient feeling that I get when I surrender my very self to it's entirety.

I better finish up. Procrastinated too long. Nothing special happen anyway, so I should just end things here.

Azarul Carlyle Einhander


The Things I Do...

Friday. 23rd March. 1100hrs
I woke up by the sound of my mobile. It was my dad. Aren't you suppose to pick up the machine this morning? He said. Good God! I yelled. Quickly, I rose from the bed and made a beeline towards the bathroom. While brushing my teeth, my head was rushing with plans and how could I be able to pick up and send the machine, pick up the cheque for the machine and send it to Headquarters in less than 2 hours?
I got dress afterwards. As usual, a black baju Melayu and a pair of worn out black jeans. I've always had an affinity for black. Maybe because it makes me look slimmer, or maybe it's the Dark Goth in me. Sometimes, I would end up wearing eyeliners just for the heck of it. Soon after, I reach for my glasses and car keys.
I made coffee in a tumbler. Had been a caffeine addict for months now. Seems I can be quite mean on days without coffee. With the tumbler in one hand in car keys in another, I was ready to take on the world. So to speak.
My car. How I wish I could explain how badly the car needs a total overhaul. It's paint job cracks here and there, not to mention having one of the ugliest colors I've ever seen, the wipers are totally blown, whenever it rains I'm done for. The seats, dear God, the seats are an absolute washout. The steering wheel's sticky with glue, I have no clue how that happen. I can't open up the boot without help, I have to warm up the engine first before I go anywhere. The car is in such a bad shape that it is priced at a mere MYR1000.
I start the engine. Takes a few tries but it manages to come alive after a few coughs. Took a sip of coffee and burnt my tongue. Said a few choice curses and off I go.
I had to pick up dad, because it is such a bore going places all by myself. At least daddy and I could have some male bonding. We talked about politics and made fun of other people. Namely the other drivers that was driving on Federal Highway.
The destination is in Subang. More precisely, it's in the Industrial Park in Subang. I thank God that a colleague of mine already knew how to get there. If I had to find the place on my own, God knows I'll get lost.
It was somesort of a leisurely drive. What with my car being a semiwreck. It didn't take long for me to get there. At least I had a vague idea of where it is and how to get there. My colleague did say that I'll just have to follow the road. I had to admit, I was close to panic. Until, I reached a hugh sign that says "Proton-Hicom" with an arrow pointing right. By then, I knew I had the right way.
I reached Servex the distributor in about half hour. I have to admit, the drive and dad for company. It was pretty fun. The place was big, I had no idea it was this big. I had thought it was like one of those plots on a factory sets. But, I was so wrong. It even has a guard house. Which seems to be empty. Or so I thought.
I parked my car as close to Servex as possible. Wouldn't want to have a long walk. I strode right into the compound without a care. Then, I heard a noise. A voice calling me back. I took a few steps backwards and saw a guard with a scowl on his face. Don't know whether he was mad with me or angry because I woke him up. Nonetheless it was still my fault. He told me to sign in. So, I did. Told him I was sorry, but he just shrugs it off.
I continued my uncaring stroll into the compound and went in through the Self Collect Office. My presence was undetected. Or rather they just didn't care who I was. Well, they had to unlock the door in order to let me in. So, they must've known that I was there. But, no. Nothing. I had to make a tiny squeak in order to get attention. That was a knife in the ego.
I told one of them, that I was there to pick up a 12" PowerBook. Then, after knowing that, she went wild at her computer. Trying to find an invoice for the machine. It wasn't hectic, and I didn't have to wait long. But, it sure felt like the world was coming to and end what with all the people rushing in and out.
The PowerBook arrived in just a couple of minutes. I squeaked with glee. Happy to know that the dread that has been haunting me is just hours away to end. Been through weeks with the panic and nightmares, what's a few hours?
The reason why I had to do this was because, three weeks back, I had a customer who deposited 10% of the full purchase for the machine. The customer was promised, I repeat promised, to have the machine in at least a weeks time. Which was confirmed by my purchaser herself. Now, three weeks later, the machine is still not sent and the customer's getting mighty miffed because of it.
As how the English would put it, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Basically, I threw caution to the wind and took matters into my own hands. That's how this adventurous day became to be.
After signing some papers, I took the PowerBook with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I was very happy to know that my pain and suffering would go away. Soon, I reached my car and started the engine. My dad asked why did it took such a short time? I just told him that maybe it was because of I smiled a lot. He just snuffed the idea right out the window. Fathers, without them you won't be born. With them, you get sarcasm throughout your entire life.
I lit up a cigarette and made my move. I thought to myself that it's already late and I have prayers to do. It was already twelve in the afternoon and I had to race back to send my dad home and I have to go for Friday Prayers. So, I had planned to send the machine and softwares after prayers. I wasn't really racing for home because I got stuck in the highway. It's a Friday, you always get traffic jams on a Friday. In that traffic though I notice this beautiful BMW M3 with metallic red finish. It was obvious that he had side skirts and spoilers installed. The body kit completes the M3 nicely. At that very moment, I could've wished that I was driving that piece of Heaven. But dad was all chatty about drivers not minding other people, and how other people couldn't care less about anything else. Somehow, I kind of felt some sarcasm there. But, with my dad. It's hard to tell unless it's too obvious. He's so subtle with these things.
After about fifteen minutes of traffic. Much to my father's discomfort, which he gladly shows, I manage to weave in and out of traffic to reach home. After he got off, and I drop off the machine, I made my way over towards the local Mosque. Most commonly known as Masjid Bulat.
Fridays Prayers are usually my rest period. Both physically and mentally. It's this serene feeling you get when you enter the mosque. With only one intent, that is prayer, I relaxed into a cool, calm state.
The ablution helps, quite a lot. What had happen this morning, although may not be disturbing, was tiring enough. With water flowing on my face, arms and feet, I felt rejuvenated.
After prayer comes the hard part. Sending the machine and softwares to the customer. The customer's office is located nearby Masjid Jamek, it's either I'll take the LRT or just drive. When I thought of the "drive", I winced. I knew that the traffic would be at it's worst if I were to drive there.
I called up the office to make sure the procedures I've done was correct. Turns out that it was incorrect and I had to go back to the office to correct it. God, I said, it didn't turn out quite as planned. Now, I have to race back to the office and correct my mistakes and rush to the customer's place via LRT.
Yes, I know, the LRT can be somewhat of a pain. But, it is conveniently located in Masjid Jamek, and the Jelatek station is not far off from Headquarters. So, I thought that I should just grit my teeth and go for it. There's too much at stake, I exaggerated.
To make matters worse, it started to drizzle. Little drops of rain starts to fall. Oh God no! I cringed. As I have mentioned, my car has wipers for cosmetic purposes and has no use. I must hurry.
I reached home to pick up the machine and softwares, I'd wanted to have dad as company but he's already asleep. Having his afternoon nap. I decided against waking him up and went off to my office. In the drizzling rain.
The rain, how I welcome it. If I'm not driving of course. I've loved the rain. I love the fact that it makes me wet. It feels as if it washes the dirt off of me. I get high with each droplet of rain on my skin. When it's pouring, the sheer mass itself is like a shower from the Heavens. Thunderous roars and blinding lightning makes me realize how alive I am. Thinking about it makes me smile. It's been a very long while since I've enjoyed a good rain shower.
But, in the car it's a whole other story. It may be drizzling but it was enough to obstruct my view. Like it or not, I had to open my driver side window. If not, the windshield will fog up and it would make things worst. Eyesight wise that is. I have gone through worse but I would never take these things lightly. Never underestimate mother nature for her wrath can be far worse than having a zipper stuck on the nuts.
There was one time that I went through a storm. I could see nothing but water on my windscreen. I was using the Kuching highway and the potholes there were all filled with water. But I digress. Back to the driving, the rain was pouring harder. Nevertheless, I manage to reach the office safely. Thank God for that.
Parked my car and went my way towards the office. I was hoping that I could use any one of my colleagues car since it was raining, but to no avail. Back to stage one, I thought. With the paperwork settled and everything ready. I persuaded one of my colleagues to at least send me to an LRT station.
With the PowerBook on one hand the softwares on the other, my colleague and I went to the parking lot. To my surprise, the drizzling stopped. Somehow, somewhere, deep inside my subconscious mind, there was a loud scream of regret.
With my colleague driving, I, on the passenger seat, was screaming wildly in my mind. Saying I should have brought the car, over and over again. I was on the verge of asking my colleague to pull back. Then, we reached the Kelana Jaya LRT Station. I blink four times to realize we've reached the station. The sheer disbelief was overpowering. I held my breathe and sighed deeply. There's no turning back now.
I took my first few steps towards the ticket counter. Granted, I have to climb two flights of stairs to get there. Paranoia haunts my very soul for the fact that I was carrying over MYR9000 worth of merchandise. Anything happens, I'm responsible.
After purchasing the ticket, I braced myself for the worst. Whatever happens, I am going to give one heck of a fight. I'll make them feel sorry to even glean on any of the merchandise. I put on my best scowl. Made sure that nobody wants a piece of me. And waited.
The last time I felt this defensive when I was protecting my brother from hordes of blood thirsty criminals. So I exaggerate, give me a break. I really didn't want to show any weakness, not even a tiny glimpse. I tighten my grip on the merchandise, hoarding it like Gollum with his precious.
To think that anything bad would happen. Nothing did ever happen. People just went on their lives. I was just a mere nobody. A speck in a giant world. Somehow, the crowds lack of interest made me feel slightly better. Until I caught a girl looking at the PowerBook.
She was of average height, nothing special about her. Pair of jeans and a shirt to match. Shoulder length hair and dark brown eyes. Most probably 18 to 20 years of age. I burn her facial images in my head just in case something happens. I glared at her. Stared at her. I gave her the worst of my sights.
She screamed.
Well, not so much of a scream but more in the line of surprised fright. I guess that I must've made such a look that she find it frightening. I paid no mind on what she was talking about to her friends. I just stared on the floor for as long as the train ride. None of that silly glaring business anymore.
I've reached Masjid Jamek without a hitch. Looked around and sighed a relief that the girl was no where to be seen. I then quickly head my way over to the customer's place. It wasn't so far off, just beside the Star LRT station on the other side of the street. I hurriedly cross the street and jog my way over. Can't run, these are expensive stuff.
Another two flights of stairs later, I made a mental note of exercising more. It seems all that staring and glaring, not to mention the quick street crossing and the speed stair climbing, has depleted half of my stamina. At least, now I can rest because I have reached my destination.
About fifteen minutes and a couple of small talks later, I've made the exchange, signed some papers and collected a cheque. Earlier back at the office I have received a cheque for an iMac before. Now, I have to send in two cheques to the Headquarters before five. I said my farewell, and were on my way to Headquarters.
The time was 1600hrs. Barely have enough time to cover the distance. What am I saying? I've already sent the stuff, I don't have to hurry to send in the cheque. True I have to rush, but, I don't think some miracle would land me in the Headquarters in a blink of an eye. Again, I took the dreaded LRT.
The worst side of the LRT has begun to show it's ugly head. The passengers has slowly increase in numbers. My stop was about 7 stations away and I know it's going to be a bumpy ride. I don't know whether to smile or cry when I found out my presumptions were correct. The amassing amount of presumptuous populace has made me a nervous wreck. True there are just going about their lives. Another day another dollar. They drone out the daily hazards and manages to go through another perilous week. I congratulate them for the courage. But, I just cannot stand crowds. Crowds brings the worst in me.
Station Jelatek reached and I quickly ran out of the train. But not without waiting in front of the door that doesn't seem to open. It just stuck there, with it's hydraulics churning away doing whatever it can to make the door open. I couldn't stand it any longer and wedge my fingers between the leaves and pry it open using what's left of my strength. It groaned and strained under pressure. With the help of the hydraulics, I forced it open. With a pant and a wheeze, I stepped out of the train. Only to realize that hundreds upon hundreds of eyes were looking at me.
My heart races, thump by thump it jumps. My mind runs a thousand and one excuses. Blood gushes through my face, making it warm and itch. My shoulders shudder of a sudden chill. My hand twitches. My eyes waters for no reason. My legs started to give. I made an effort not to show any emotion. Mere seconds pasts to what seems like an eternity.
Turns out that the door was troublesome. Seems I fixed it without any tools whatsoever. There was no cheers though. Just a couple of guys thanking me for doing their job. I just left.
With mere minutes to spare, I casually lit up a cigarette and walked my way over to Headquarters.
To think that I thought that nothing bad could happen. Something bad happen. Not to me, but to someone else. There was this guy on a motorbike speeding through the traffic, when he bumped into something hard and flew about 7 meters away. Good God, what a sight. It was like watching Superman flying low on the city streets. Until he hits the ground.
He rolls on the ground like an armadillo rolling down a hill. Tosses and tumbles and he comes to a stop. A complete stop. I closed my gaping mouth and hurried over to the scene. Which did not went without the knowledge of any other pedestrian, drivers, motor riders, and/or cabbies. This is Malaysia after all, watching an accident happen is like seeing an idol walking by. It holds you in awe.
Being one of the first, I tried to pull him up. Which was actually quite easy. Until I realize he was standing up by himself. With absolute silence I watch him, a few nicks and cuts, bruises on his chin and cheek. All in all, there wasn't a single bone broken. Not that I was wishing for any broken bones.
He stood up. Mumbled some swears and told me, and everyone else, he's fine. Such strength. Such heroism. He went through such an embarrassing moment without any problems whatsoever. I admire his lack of feelings. The lack to feel humiliated at that.
Afterwards, I make my way to Headquarters. After what had happen, I'm sure nothing would surprise me. God, was I so wrong. Deep down inside my gut, I knew something would happen. Something that would affect my ego.
Upon reaching Headquarters, I was greeted with my fellow workmates. I passed the check to the accountant and rested. Nothing much had happen then. Just some more small talk and a little gossip here and there.
With renewed strength, I head on to my final journey. My journey home. And again, the LRT. The time was 1735hrs. The time where the LRT is at it's fullest worst condition. Nightmares that could make grown men cry. The ever so dreaded, Rush Hour.
The walk back to the LRT station wasn't so bad. In fact, it felt shorter than before. The motorbike that had an accident earlier was no where to be seen. Traffic policemen polices the traffic, and it does little to help what little humanity has from the scourge that is the traffic jam. There are cars as far as the eyes can see. Temperature rises to a staggering 40 degrees in the nearby vicinity.
As for me, there are other scourges that waits for me in the LRT.
It starts innocently enough. As I had expected, the train I rode had all the seats taken. Luckily, I thought, I can still lean against that plastic panel beside the door. A choice that was absolutely poor on my part. I am human after all, and being human, I cannot predict what's going to happen to me.
Then, after passing a few stations. The passengers are getting packed. More and more people poured into the train like it was the Gates of Heaven itself. Nobody gave any leeway whatsoever, everyone squirmed and squished themselves against one another until there are no room to even wiggle.
The pack was getting packer. It was jampacked like a humpbacked whale riding a small lorry. It was packed like a team of rugby players crammed into a small electric powered vehicle. It was Hell in all it's glory, only packed with more souls that Lucifer himself, could ever fathom.
Then, it gets worse. I could have not known that it could get any worse than it already is. But, it got worse. A tall slender caucasian male strode in, more likely, forced himself in with two, repeat, two giant duffel bags filled with God knows what. He wore those bags front and back. I was hoping for feathered pillows but I was wrong. Never was I so wrong than I was wrong at that very moment.
It was full. The duffel bags were absolutely full. It was hard and it was lumpy. Dear God, I had really thought that he brought stones into the train just to see whether it affects the speed. Those two duffel bags, the caucasian male, headed towards, or rather, pushed towards me. He didn't face me back his back was. And his bag. Oh God, his bag.
I prayed a small prayer thanking God has given me life up until now. I felt his bag flatten my chest and threatened to squeeze the very air out of me. My very lungs were squashed and I felt my arms go numb. The bag pushes more and more, the faster the train goes, the heavier the bag gets.
Oh... looks like I have to continue some other time. It literally took me a whole day just to do this blog. I guess I was in such a rusty state that my job is mediocre at best. I guess I should do more reading. I squeezed all my literary skills, not to mention illiteracy, just to get this far. Hopefully I can do more later on. Wish me the best.

Azarul Carlyle Einhander


Son Of A...

4 jobs you’ve had in your life

Worked in sales in Phoenix. (It's a shop that sells fragile stuff)
Serial Arsonist due to unsatisfactory school schedules. (Almost burn down a tool shack for Kemahiran Hidup)
Been working in CyberCafes after school, barely three months. (Went to college, punch up one of the Silver Surfer bosses for being an idiot)
A Gigolo (God! I miss that job!)

4 movies you could watch over and over.

Transformers the Movie
Robotech the Movie
In Diana Jones Movie (Porn... Duh)
There was this movie with puppets, serious fantasy-like movie. Involves good and evil, called F... something. God knows.

4 TV shows you love to watch

There was TechTV, Call-For-Help, ScreenSavers, X-Play... God I Miss Them... *sigh*
Short porn flicks (Only available in London)
4 places you’ve lived

Kongsi, Balik Pulau, Pulau Pinang
Muar, Johor
Battersea Park, London (For about 6 months)
Sect. 12, Petaling Jaya

4 places you’ve been on vacation to

Surabaya (I loved this place)
Singapore (For about three weeks, then I got bored)
Paris (Went there when it was winter. Jeez it was cold)
Moscow (Yikes!)

4 places you would rather be

Australia. Thought I'd visit an old acquaintance
Indonesia. Just got a friend there, a visit would be nice.
Home. Asleep, been working too much and getting too little.
Antartica. Aurora Beaurealis (I Think)

4 of your favourite food


4 websites you visit daily

Porn.com (Doink)

4 tagged